Aspiring parents is an umbrella term used to describe people who do not yet have children as well as people with children who worry that their own Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) will negatively impact their current/future children.
Do you feel doomed to repeat the cycle of ineffectual parenting you received? You can break the cycle! Do you know that parents, who themselves were raised in unhealthy home environments, often struggle with parenting? While this is quite normal, it is something that is rarely spoken of; it's something parents often feel ashamed of disclosing. Silence, in this area, hurts us all! Truth be told, parenting is difficult, especially when you're navigating inter-generational trauma and when you're caught in the low self-confidence trap.
Do you aspire to be a more confident parent, but feel it’s out of your reach? This thought process leads me to wonder if you're caught in the low self-confidence trap. you The low self-confidence trap tors of the low self-confidence trap includes:
- You feel like a fraud
- You feel like you're faking your parenting capacity
- You go to bed feeling like a failure every night
- You are afraid of Child Protection Services (CPS)/Children's Aid Services (CAS)
- You look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see
- When people give you compliments, you don’t believe them (and sometimes get angry) because you don't feel deserving
- You're constantly worried that you're "screwing up" your child(ren)
- You're overcompensating (e.g. spending a lot to create a picture of perfection)
- You devour parenting books on a non-stop basis
- You have multiple To-Do Lists and you berate yourself if you don't check everything off daily
- You have a large amount of negative self-talk on a daily basis (e.g. I'm a bad parent, they would take my child away if they know how incompetent I really am, etc)
- You’re exhausted and have very little room to experience the joys of parenting
The combination of a lack of confidence and a strong accomplishment-focused sense of self-worth is incredibly isolating. Isolation leaves you feeling not only terribly alone, but also disconnected from yourself, feeling stuck, dissatisfied, disengaged, and detached. This state produces a vicious cycle of low self-confidence and low self-worth, resulting in feeling more frustrated, anxious, and discouraged. Wouldn’t it be nice to know what to do with feelings of insecurity, self-doubt and embarrassment, when they show up, so that they no longer control your life.
I know that you probably feel way more comfortable giving rather than receiving support, but I’m asking you to push pass the thought, that “you shouldn't need any help”, and take the courageous step towards loving yourself and liking life as a parent. If you’re tired of beating yourself up, feeling like a hot mess, hiding in shame, and reliving unhelpful patterns, let’s talk. I’d like to support you as you free yourself from this vicious cycle and reclaim the joy of being a parent.
